I know it’s good for business, but MY GOD WILL THE NEWS EVER CHILL OUT.
BEGINNING OF A MIRACLE?
Some would call it a miracle in itself.
Despite the cries of OMG NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON from the Left, North and South Korea took a major step toward peace today. As in finally-ended-the-friggin-war major.
North and South Korean officials are discussing an end to the military conflict that has existed between the two nations for nearly 70 years, something that would be called a foreign policy miracle under any administration not named “Trump.”
An unnamed South Korean official, who for the sake of this piece I will call “WonTon Ramen,” told a local newspaper that a direct line between South Korean President Moonlight Inn and North Korean leader L. Rocket Man could be established by the end of the week. Additionally, the two leaders may release a joint statement officially ending the conflict at a summit next week, though no L’s are expected to be enunciated.
North Korea and South Korea have technically been at war since June 1950, when North Korean commies invaded South Korea following a series of border clashes. The North was supported by Russia (the country was literally designed by Stalin) and China. The South had the United Nations on its side, which is code for “America and like 2 other countries sending bomb-sniffing monkeys.”
The two countries fought to a stalemate, which happened at about the 38th parallel, now known as the DMZ (demilitarized zone). If you’ve never been, please go while it still exists. I spent a good bit of time there. It’s surreal. North Koreans stare at you with binoculars while South Korean guards, every one of them trained as black belts in Jiu-Jitsu (not kidding), assume fighting positions for 12-hour shifts without movement (also not kidding).
Anyhoo, an armistice was signed once that stalemate was reached, but the two countries have been locked in a tense standoff in the decades since. Technically, they’ve been at war all this time. It appears that standoff may be coming to an end.
BUT WAIT…..THERE’S MORE!
Rocket Man plans to formally announce his willingness to denuclearize his country when he meets with Moonlight Inn this month.
The statement will likely be part of a joint declaration that the two leaders will adopt when they meet on April 27. Negotiators from both Koreas have reportedly agreed on a rough framework for the joint declaration.
They’re still discussing other aspects of the joint statement, such as whether the two Koreas would commit to holding summit meetings on a regular basis. South Korea is also trying to convince Rocket Man that he and Moonlight should hold a joint news conference at the end of their meeting in Panmunjom, the so-called truce village on the DMZ.
If necessary, Moonlight’s national security adviser and spy chief will visit the North Korean capital, Pyongyang, again to resolve any significant issues before the summit meeting.
According to reports, when South Korean officials (including the two I just mentioned) visited Pyongyang last month as special envoys, Rocket Man told them he would be willing to discuss giving up nuclear weapons if his government no longer felt threatened militarily and its security was guaranteed.
Sounds like the big bad missile aficionado is having second thoughts about who he’s dealing with.
This is where a random picture of a missile goes, right?
LET’S HOLD OUR HORSES THOUGH:
More talks are needed to determine how specific the declaration would be about denuclearization. The joint statement by the two Koreas is likely to be broad and fairly abstract, because any substantial deal on the North’s nuclear weapons must be struck between Lil Kim and The Donald. However, the upcoming meeting and subsequent statement could go a long way toward laying groundwork for the negotiations ahead.
PDT has said he plans to meet with RM in May or early June to try to persuade him to dismantle his nuclear weapons program. Moonlight, whose envoys brought PDT the message that Kim wanted to talk, has tried vigorously to be a mediator between the American and North Korean leaders, knowing that this is his best chance at resolving this thing peacefully. God knows he doesn’t have the cojones to back anyone down.
North Korean and U.S. officials have also been holding talks in preparation for their leaders’ meeting, during which U.S. officials have said the North reaffirmed a willingness to discuss denuclearization. But….and file this away because it’s important.…it’s still unclear what Kim would seek in return for abandoning nuclear arms, and whether those demands would be acceptable to Washington.
When RM met with President Ping Pong Table of China late last month, he called for a “phased” and “synchronized” implementation of any denuclearization deal. Under such an approach, which North Korea has sought in past talks about its nuclear programs, the North would dismantle its program in stages, with each met by an incentive like an easing of international sanctions. Like a grounded kid being given back privileges one by one for improved behavior.
Some American hard-liners, like Western Hemisphere Mustache Champion John Bolton, are skeptical that the North has any real intention of giving up nuclear weapons and is only seeking relief from sanctions. The more reactionary, ever-looking-for-a-reason-to-jump-off-the-train faction of the Trump movement see that as an indicator that we’re OMG HEADED FOR WAR. Some folks just can’t think outside the box. PDT is exhausting every diplomatic approach he can, as evidenced by his agreeing to hold bilateral talks with RM. Bolton is there to scare the hell out of everyone.
If you’re Rocket Man, do you want a hard-liner in Trump’s ear, or someone telling him to back off and give North Korea everything it wants?
Make sense now? Good.
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR IN THE BIG MEETING:
Here is what it will all come down to, and neocons aren’t going to like it.
If one examines Rocket Man’s words carefully, he often uses the phrase “denuclearization of the peninsula,” not merely his own. That’s a roundabout way of saying “get American troops the hell out of here,” since we’re the only other nuclear force on the peninsula.
Neocons won’t like that because, aside from wanting to have troops every-friggin-where generally, they know PDT is sympathetic to the notion. Remember, this is the president that ran on an anti nation-building, America First platform. Then again, so did George Dubya Bush, but these are two distinctly different animals.
Long story short, Lil Kim is likely to offer to complete denuclearization in exchange for the redeployment of U.S. troops from Korea, and Trump just might take him up on it.
There are concerns involving such a deal, naturally. For example, U.S. troops in South Korea are seen not only as a deterrent to the North, but as a stabilizing force in the entire region (read: a hedge against Chinese expansionism). With China building fake islands everywhere from which to launch missiles and such, along with their sharp increase in defense spending and growing economy, many analysts fear that an America-free Korea would be fertile ground for them to throw their weight around and expand their would-be empire.
It’s worth noting that this analysis isn’t without merit. China would undoubtedly seize on our absence to expand their sphrere of influence,
Then there is the flip side of the argument –one I tend to embrace more heartily– that asks how long, exactly, do we expect to be on the peninsula? Surely no one expects us to be there forever, and if so, won’t say it aloud in respectable company. Are we to be an indefinite set of training wheels for the South Korean military, assuming there is still a “South” Korea after this the deal is done?
If North and South Korea are no longer at war or other conflict, the only excuse for not reunifying would be a stubborn devotion to communism on the part of Kim which, frankly, doesn’t seem to exist. Rocket Man, as bad as he is, has implemented more free market policy in NK than anyone before him, which is admittedly like winning a tallest midget contest, but hopeful nonetheless.
And finally, what do we really lose by repositioning our subs and other nuclear assets? The fact is, we have the long-range capability to do just as much damage from home as we do right off the coast. Do you think our nuke subs need to be within 100 miles of the NK coast? Of course not. They’re there to send a message; one that seems to be working.
Frankly, I think PDT can give Kim what he (and much of the Trump base) want by dismantling his nukes while redeploying our forces from Korea, but I think he’ll get us much better terms than the establishment Republicans realize. The reason being, I think Kim is genuinely afraid of Trump.
I honestly believe that Rocket Man has no earthly idea what to do about this crazy New Yorker and believes in his heart of hearts that Trump will put a bunker-buster right through his palace, while tweeting something funny about it.
Call it what you want, but you can’t call it ineffective. That fear gives PDT a distinct advantage. So in the days following the talks, if you see frantic reports about what PDT is giving up, remember, be patient and let the whole story be told. PDT knows that little fruit loop is scared. He’ll take him to the cleaners. This type of logic is alien to the minds of Republican tittybabies because they’ve never been in a physical altercation or stood up to anyone. They’re sheltered little, well, tittybabies.
They can continue their punditry. It’s all they’re good for, after all. In the meantime, PDT will continue to achieve the greatest foreign policy feat since the fall of the USSR.
A NEW FRIGGIN ANTHONY KENNEDY
By which, I mean another “conservative” appointed to the SCOTUS who longs to be admired by liberals and thus votes like a moonbat on occasion.
Neil Gorsuch, who, up until today, was a source of pride for PDT, cast the deciding vote against the administration on an issue that Trumpers care about very deeply: deporting #BadHombres.
This is the first ruling in which Gorsuch donned his coochie cap, providing the swing vote for a result that will undoubtedly make it more difficult to deport illegals who have committed violent crimes.
Gorsuch went along with the court’s four biggest moonbats, arguing that a clause in federal law allowing the deportation of foreigners found guilty of “a crime of violence” is unconstitutional because it is overly vague.
“What does that mean?” Gorsuch asked in asked in his estrogen-laced opinion. “Just take the crime at issue in this case, California burglary, which applies to everyone from armed home intruders to door-to-door salesmen peddling shady products. How, on that vast spectrum, is anyone supposed to locate the ordinary case and say whether it includes a substantial risk of physical force? The truth is, no one knows.”
“The law’s silence leaves judges to their intuitions and the people to their fate. In my judgment, the Constitution demands more,” Gorsuch added.
The law does add a bit more definition to the standard, covering crimes that include actual violence, attempted violence or a threat of violence, but goes on to sweep in crimes that involve “a substantial risk [of using] physical force against the person or property of another.” According to Gorsuch’s infinite wisdom, that last portion requiring an assessment of how likely a crime is to involve violence is too vague to be enforced.
TRUMP SAID THE HELL WITH THAT NOISE:
A few hours after the ruling came down, Trump, who was chillin at Mar-A-Lago like a BAWSE waiting to talk to the Japanese Prime Minister about Rocket Man, hopped on Twitter to let everyone know that what just happened wasn’t cool, bro.
“Today’s Court decision means that Congress must close loopholes that block the removal of dangerous criminal aliens, including aggravated felons,” wrote Trump. “This is a public safety crisis that can only be fixed by…Congress – House and Senate must quickly pass a legislative fix to ensure violent criminal aliens can be removed from our society. Keep America Safe!”
“Today‘s ruling significantly undermines DHS’s efforts to remove aliens convicted of certain violent crimes, including sexual assault, kidnapping and burglary, from the United States,“ read their statement. “By preventing the federal government from removing known criminal aliens, it allows our nation to be a safe haven for criminals and makes us more vulnerable as a result.“
Sadly, they’re 1000% correct.
I could make your eyes bleed with paragraph upon paragraph of the legal details that comprise the arguments for both sides. But I’d rather get to the point with this one. I’m sure you won’t mind.
Gorsuch and his leftist buddies are essentially saying that the Constitution is vague on this issue, we must essentially err on the side of freedom. I’m actually very sympathetic to that argument……FOR AMERICAN CITIZENS.
The big example used today was car burglary. Until now, it could be covered under the “substantial prospect for violence” part of the deportation statute. In other words, car burglars aren’t inflicting violence on anyone, so the law is too broad to define them as violent criminals.
I don’t know about you, but someone breaking into my car faces a “substantial prospect of violence” if I catch them. To quote Vince Vega in Pulp Fiction, “It would be worth them ****ing with my car just so I could catch them ****ing with my car.”
And are we to assume that all car burglars aren’t prepared to use violence to finish the job? What fantastically ignorant thinking; so foolish only a highly educated person could dream it up.
And how about the larger picture here; the one grounded in pure common sense: WHY SHOULDN’T WE BE DEPORTING CRIMINAL ALIENS ANYWAY? Am I the only sane son of a bitch left on Earth? If someone wants to stay in our country, they shouldn’t commit serious crimes. This isn’t jaywalking we’re talking about. What do we think, that these people are going to do their stint in jail and then resume their professorship at Dartmouth?
KICK THE BUMS OUT ALREADY. I frankly don’t care about sophisticated legal arguments from Ivory Tower academics.
I want to protect my country.
TURTLE’S BRAIN CELLS TINGLED
And he did something smart.
Turtle McConnell, feeling the instinctive urge for self-preservation built into every true politician, killed the “Protect King Bob” bill before it could even get to the floor.
“I’m the one who decides what we take to the floor, that’s my responsibility as the majority leader, and we will not be having this on the floor of the Senate,” he told Fox News.
He may as well just use that interview footage and slap an “And I approve this message” on the end of it and voila! instant campaign ad. The GOP, well most of them, know that any effort to help that deep state thug would be political suicide. Trumpers already hate the GOP. #BigLeague. Pushing a bill through the Senate to protect Mueller would all but guarantee that we mobilized to send them home in November.
Turtle knows that all too well.
The question is whether the Republicans who were stupid enough to push it will pay the price. North Carolinians, it’s time you had a talk with Thom Tillis. Or better yet, talk with a candidate who can beat him in the primary. Donate some money if you can afford it.
South Carolinians, you already know who our problem is. That worthless bathhouse boy Twinkletoes Graham, aka Satan’s dingleberry. I bet he calls Cooter McCain every single day discussing what was done to bring down PDT. Cooter is basically Twinkletoes’ dad. His actual father died a long while back. Probably to get away from Lindsey.
So there you have it. So long as we have a Republican majority, King Bob’s unchecked powers will remain unwritten, rather than officially codified into law.
Take your victories where you can get them, I suppose.
SANDY HOOK PARENTS VS. INFOWARS
It was just a couple days ago when Alex Jones famously yelled F*** Trump on a Periscope live stream. Now a pair of Sandy Hook parents are saying F*** Alex Jones.
The parents filed defamation lawsuits yesterday against Jones, who has questioned the authenticity of the 2012 shooting that left 20 children dead. Leonard Pozner and his former wife, Veronique De La Rosa, parents of Noah Pozner, and Neil Heslin, the father of Jesse Lewis, are seeking more than $1 million in damages in separate lawsuits.
The cases are going down in Austin, Texas, where Jones lives and has espoused claims that the massacre was “a giant hoax” and “that the whole thing was fake” — staged by the federal government, which hired professional actors for the purposes of undermining Second Amendment rights.
“This conspiracy theory, which has been pushed by InfoWars and Mr. Jones since the day of the shooting, alleges that the Sandy Hook massacre did not happen, or that it was staged by the government and concealed using actors, and that the parents of the victims are participants in a horrifying cover-up,” the plaintiffs said in their suits.
The lawsuits chronicle a number of articles published on InfoWars as well as broadcasts hosted by Jones, in which the plaintiffs say he waged a “years-long campaign to convince their audience that Sandy Hook was faked and that the parents are lying.”
In the case pertaining to Pozner and De La Rosa, the court documents point to an episode of The Alex Jones Show called Sandy Hook Vampires Exposed, in which Jones alleged CNN used a series of green screens in its coverage of the aftermath of the shooting. As evidence, Jones claimed footage of CNN host Anderson Cooper contained several glitches because of a poorly placed green screen.
However, the lawsuit explains the reason for the video anomalies: “The visual effect described by Mr. Jones is the result of motion compensation video compression.”
Heslin’s lawsuit notes the case “arises out of accusation by InfoWars in the summer of 2017 that Plaintiff was lying about whether he actually held his son’s body and observed a bullet hole in his head. This heartless and vile act of defamation re-ignited the Sandy Hook ‘false flag’ conspiracy and tore open the emotional wounds that Plaintiff has tried so desperately to heal.”
Both lawsuits detail the case of Lucy Richards, a Florida woman who was sentenced to five months in prison for threatening Pozner. The judge in the case also ruled Richards would “not be permitted to access a list of conspiracy-based websites upon her release, including InfoWars. … Ms. Richards’ arrest and sentencing are an ominous reminder of the danger posed by Mr. Jones’ continuing lies about the Plaintiffs’ alleged role in faking Sandy Hook.”
The lawsuits contend the defendants acted with malice and their defamatory publications have injured the plaintiffs’ reputation and image and that they have exposed them to “public and private hatred, contempt, and ridicule.”
In addition to this, Jones is embroiled in another lawsuit, filed by a former foreign service officer who says he received death threats from Jones-inspired conspiracy theorists after sharing a video of a woman being struck by a car during last year’s Charlottesville, Va., protests.
In short, some of Alex Jones’ audience is crazy, and they’re laying the blame at Jones’ feet. No matter that crazy people are going to do crazy things regardless and Jones just happened to be their trigger that day, if there is a lawsuit to be had, it will surely go forward.
And I do mean big. This is important.
It’s no secret that I don’t care for Alex Jones. Frankly, I believe he knowingly profits from fear and paranoia. Whether it’s selling survival seeds on the eve of Y2K because Russian missiles were “definitely on the way” or peddling tactical gear to defend against the upcoming FEMA camp internment, Jones has a niche for appealing to a certain segment of the population. Some of them used to be my subscribers, until I made my views known. But that’s the price we all pay for speaking our minds.
And that should be the only price.
While Jones isn’t my cup of tea, this case is bigger than my own preferences. Whether I agree with him or not, Jones is exercising a critical function in society: questioning the narrative. One needn’t agree with his conclusions to understand the importance of the freedom used to reach them.
Jones is asking questions, and while I don’t agree with his conclusions on Sandy Hook, his freedom to ask those questions is more important than the feelings of those parents. That may be a hard pill to swallow, but grown-ups ought to be able to get it down nonetheless.
The effect of a hefty financial penalty on Jones would be a chilling of free speech. This may not be an actual free speech case, since it’s not the government bringing it, but the end result is the same. It’s a simple matter of fines vs jail time. Either way, the alternative media lose.
Today it’s Alex Jones, tomorrow it’s me, then it’s you. Then someday, no one will be around to question the approved narrative.
And that’s the day that truth –and the Republic whose foundation it requires– will become extinct.
Stand up for Alex Jones.
RIP BARBARA BUSH
I understand the misgivings many Trumpers have about the Bush family as a whole. I share them for the most part. I’m not a big fan of globalists.
I am a fan, however, of common decency. The fact is, regardless of what you think Barbara Bush may stand for or be guilty of, she will meet the same judge as all of us. And for that reason, I don’t render my own judgement on the day of her death.
God rest her soul.
There it is, homeskillet. You know the drill: questions, comments, concerns, memes, insults, compliments, stickers, jokes, emojis and, if we have time, complaints.
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