JUSSIE MEETS JAIL
The gift that keeps on giving has indeed delivered once more.
One-man show aspirant Jussie Smollett’s status has devolved from “poor little gay black guy targeted by cringingly stereotypical white racist rednecks in downtown Chicago” to full-blown “suspect.”
Smollett filed a false police report, which is a felony, according to a Chicago police spokesman. The Chicago PD said Wednesday that detectives and two brothers who were earlier deemed suspects in the Jan. 29 attack were testifying before a grand jury and singing like raided out Nigerian canaries.
Smollett, who is black and gay and wants everyone within a 3000 mile radius to know it, said the shadowy racist Trumpers attacked him at around 2 a.m. on Jan. 29 as he was walking home from a Subway sandwich shop. He said they beat him, made racist and homophobic comments and yelled “This is MAGA country” before looping a rope around his neck and fleeing.
Smollet then waited upwards of an hour before notifying police, while keeping the makeshift noose around his neck the entire time, which makes perfect sense and isn’t the least bit shady. Also, you’re a racist if you believe otherwise, racist.
The attackers, as it turned out, were identified as brothers Abimbola “Abel” and Olabinjo “Ola” Osundairo, and were held for nearly 48 hours on suspicion of assaulting Smollett before being released last Friday, making for one of the quickest rollovers ever. I guess $4000 apiece doesn’t buy much loyalty.”
Smollett’s lawyers, who spread much more elaborate BS at a much higher hourly rate, have implored the public to LEAVE JUSSIE ALONE DAMNIT because reports of his fakery were “victimizing” him all over again.
Boy, they must get paid well.
Unfortunately for Smollett, new evidence has pretty much eradicated whatever hope he had of somehow sliming his way outta this one. Not only are the Nigerian bros singing, police now have them on store surveillance buying all the products used in the hoax.
Additionally, a search warrant produced said items in the brothers’ apartment along with their receipts of purchase. Talk about open and shut.
It’s gotten so bad that even powerful (former) friends and fellow Kamala Harris groupies within the Dim party are distancing themselves, to include Chicago’s top prosecutor, Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx. She recused herself from the investigation yesterday citing conflicts of interest. Her office released the following one-sentence statement:
“Out of an abundance of caution, the decision to recuse herself was made to address potential questions of impartiality based upon familiarity with potential witnesses in the case.”
The statement doesn’t elaborate as to how Foxx was familiar with anyone in the case and no further comment will be proffered according to the SA office. Smollett is a well known Democrat donor, however, so his presence at various fundraising functions is assumed to be the issue. Of course, that’s not the actual issue. If the statement were honest, it would read: “I’m not touching this with a 10ft pool and Kamala has personally ordered me to stay away.” But we’ll pretend Foxx is a beacon of integrity nonetheless.
Of all the schadenfreude-inducing aspects of this case, the greatest may be that something is actually being done about it. Fake hate crime are notoriously not prosecuted, much to the chagrin of those of us on the Right who are so often their targets. But Smollett’s brazen lying and refusal to meet with police have angered authorities to the point that, at least from an outside perspective, the CPD is pushing to have the book thrown.
As it turns out, the local cops may be the least of Jussie’s worries. Prior to executing the worst-conceived hoax of all time, Jussie tried the self-death threat route, mailing this comically bad fake letter to himself:
It checks all the boxes: black, gay, MAGA, gun. It’s everything a liberal could hope to be enraged about!
There was one last group that Jussie hadn’t counted on angering, though: the feds. You see, using the mail system to send oneself a fake death threat, complete with crushed Tylenol for maximal effect, is a #BigFatFelony, especially when one reports it to cops as being real.
All told, Jussie is facing upwards of 5 years in the poke, which he may have been the plan all along now that I think about it.
Jussie, you jumped the shark, bro. But it’s not all in vain. Whether he was put up to it or just seeking attention from fellow coochie-cappers who will believe literally anything about Trump supporters, he’s shone a bright light on a problem that many of us on the Right have been yelling about for some time now.
Fake hate crimes are not new. Hundreds of them have been perpetrated over the past few years, virtually all of them directed toward conservatives. Whether it’s Muslim women conjuring tales of having their hijabs ripped off or Jews spray-painting swastikas on their own synagogues, this stuff happens a lot. And while it’s good fun to laugh at the absurdity of the Smollett case, the fact that people’s lives can be ruined by egregious and obvious lies is no laughing matter.
Let’s hope that authorities follow through with where they seem to be headed. An example needs to be made in order to deter this kind of thing in the future. The lack of prosecution is arguably a driving factor behind the problem we have now.
Throw the book at this fraud and all who would follow his lead. Good, patriotic Americans are sick and tired of being slandered.
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